


Happy-Go-Lucky

by uhhno



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comedy, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Mary Sue, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 05:43:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14710205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uhhno/pseuds/uhhno
Summary: Nanase Nanami didn't even try to stop the most terrifying events in the Naruto universe from happening, they just did. She just happened to gather a lot of attention along the way.





	Happy-Go-Lucky

**Author's Note:**

> \- Mature language ahead.

_Suck my non-existent balls, world!_

Oh, how she wished to shout those words at the top of her lungs… but life wasn't that simple. Unfortunately for her, the words came out as incoherent babbles. She also tried to stick up her tiny middle fingers, only to be seen flailing her new hands around in mid-air.

Her new mother took that as a sign for something else. "Nanami-chan, are you hungry?"

_I'm not hungry, stranger! I want out of this tiny body and into my thirty-two year old self again — … actually, on second thought, I think I'll just stick with this youthful body… but it would've been awesome if I was stuck inside a teenager than a stupid baby_. Hanna, her mother, lifted Nanami up.  _Hey, hey, easy on the goods, lady_.

Watching Hanna lift her shirt, Nanami let out a cry until Hanna sighed and said, "not hungry huh…" Hanna then peeked into Nanami's pants, "you didn't poop yourself either."

_Hey, I have more self-control than that_ , Nanami said in her baby language. Nanami's facial expression, although unchanging in real life, would've changed into a serious one as she thought,  _you can't give me what I want, mysterious woman, no one can. It's hopeless_.

The sound of the door opening and closing made Nanami perk up from her mother's shoulder.

"How're my two beautiful girls doing?"

"Takeo, you're early," smiled Hanna as she received a peck on the cheek from her husband.

"Ah, I closed down the shop early today."

Takeo's lips neared Nanami, making Nanami panic.  _Ah! Don't kiss me with that half-assed shaved beard of yours_! Upon contact, Nanami cried literally and figuratively.

"Mou~ Takeo-kun, you should properly shave."

"Huh? What's wrong with my beard?" Takeo asked innocently as he combed through his short beard.

"Nanami-chan's skin is sensitive, and your beard might feel like touching a cactus to her."

_Damn right! You tell 'im, chief_!

Takeo, ever the pacifist and never the one to start a fight, sighed good-naturedly, "alright. I'll shave, but Nanami-hime, you owe me a kiss…!"

_Fuck you, I don't owe you nothin', even if you happen to be my dad in this universe_!

Upon hearing Nanami cry a little louder, Takeo was alarmed, "a-alright, y-you don't owe me anything, Nanami-chan!" Takeo clearly meant that reply as a joke, but when Nanami's cry stopped, the two parents looked down at their daughter in shock.

"Do you think our Nanami-chan can understand us?" Hanna asked, brushing away Nanami's lightly colored red bangs away from her face.

"Do normal three-month-olds have that kind of intelligence?"

"I-I don't think so… Let's test something out." Hanna made eye contact with Nanami, which made Nanami stare right back. It was almost becoming a staring contest. "Nanami-chan, could you tell me what 2 plus 2 is with your fingers —"

The two older Nanase gasped in pure shock when Nanami held out four fingers in front.  _What, you thought I was a dumb ass bitch, bitch_?!

"L-Let me try," Takeo crouched down in front of Nanami, "Nanami-hime, what's 5 plus 5?"

Nanami deadpanned.  _If you're gonna ask me questions, ask me something that's worth my time_! Nanami sighed when she realized that she was stuck in a baby's body with too much time on her hands. With a nonchalant look, Nanami raised both her hands out.

Hanna gasped again while Takeo chuckled proudly, "Takeo-kun! Our child is a genius!"

"Of course she is," Takeo laughed proudly, "she's our daughter after all!"

Nanami quickly ducked away, dodging Takeo's kiss.  _Reward me with money instead, old man_! — Ironically, Takeo was a young and healthy man in his early twenties. It was just Nanami's vulgar mind doing the talking.

"I bet our daughter will one day grow up to be someone that'll do great things."

Nanami flinched at Takeo's sure words.  _I highly doubt that, mister… Even though I may appear like a little genius right now, I'm probably gonna turn out to be a failure_.  _Please don't have high expectations of me_ …

* * *

"Nanami-chan, can you say 'mama'?"

"Mm… Mm…" Hanna looked at Nanami with expectant eyes, smiling and nodding in encouragement. "Ma…"

"Go on, Nanami-chan, say 'mama'…!"

Takeo looked over the newspaper from his place at the couch. Since the house was attached to the family teashop, Takeo could take a break in between and could easily go down to the shop when customers arrived.

"Ma…"

"Come on, Nanami-chan, you can do it!"

" _Ma brotha from da hood_!"

Hanna slumped, crossing her arms and sighing. She'd thought the English words Nanami spoke were baby babbles. "This is impossible… Nanami was supposed to say her first words at 18 months. She's turning three in a few months…"

Takeo ditched his newspaper and went to reassure his wife, "maybe Nanami-chan's a late bloomer."

"But she's a genius."

"Perhaps a better word to describe her is 'prodigy'. We've only found out she's good at math."

"… You're right, Takeo-kun," Hanna said as she brought her fist up and looking over the horizon, "I won't give up hope on Nanami-chan!"

"… Who said anything about giving up on Nanami…?" Takeo muttered to himself with a deadpanned look.

"No one can be perfect, and neither can Nanami-chan!" Hanna announced.

Just as Takeo was about to nod, Nanami's voice rang through and resulted in silence to fill the air. "Mama!"

"… Eh?" Hanna's fist slowly descended as she turned to look at her daughter who looked very innocent. Hanna was in disbelief, trying to calm herself with an awkward smile, "Nanami-chan, what was that? I don't think mama heard right?"

"Mama!"

"Takeo-kun! Tell me if I heard wrong!"

Takeo came out from his shock before stating, "no, you heard right, dear…"

"Papa!"

The two newbie parents widened their eyes, Takeo went into a cardiac arrest after his heart was struck by a cupid's arrow at the sight of his only daughter innocently calling him out with her adorable puppy-dog eyes.

"Takeo, snap out of it!" Hanna slapped her husband back and forth, "Takeo! You mustn't die from Nanami's cuteness overload! How will we survive if you're gone from this world?!"

Meanwhile, Nanami was heavily regretting her action, because her parents were going to have a bigger expectation of her in the future.

_But fuck it, am I right?_

* * *

There was a visible vein popping out of her forehead as Nanami continued to go about following her mother's orders from the kitchen. The reason why was simple. Nanami was five years old now, working part time… without pay!

Nanami almost threw down the plate of dango in frustration, proceeding to the table that ordered the dango. Although she thought it was unfair she was working without at least a benefit, this was a family business and it was a law of any stores or shop that customers were king.

"Here's your walnut dango," Nanami announced in a customer service high pitched tone of voice and placed the plate on the table that was almost the same height as her.

"Hey there," the customer said, "you must be Hanna-san's daughter."

Nanami almost frowned, her lips twitching. Sure customers were king, but it didn't mean Nanami wanted to talk to them. "Yes, I am."

Just as Nanami was about to leave the table, the customer continued their one-sided conversation. "It seems like I've never seen you around the shop before. Let me introduce myself."

_You can shove your introduction up your ass, Onii-chan_.

"My name's Shisui and this is Itachi. What's your name, Ojou-chan?"

Nanami stroked her chin as she went into deep thought.  _Hmm... What would you call this kind of person… There's a special word for people like him… Hm… Annoying? No, no… Irritating_?

"Ojou-chan?" Shisui called Nanami out.

"Ah, I got it!" Nanami exclaimed, her expression bright with glee. Shisui looked at her with a confused expression, his face reddening at the sudden smile, "obnoxious!"

The boy called Itachi stared at Shisui and then at Nanami. The air was silent between the three of them as Shisui went into a crouched OTL position as the word echoed in his mind.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Ah, gomenasai, Shisui-san. My name is none of your business," Nanami said with a bright smile.

As Nanami left, Itachi could see a gloomy raincloud hovering over Shisui. Itachi felt a little sorry for him. Itachi took another look at Nanami and thought her to be quite funny although his facade hadn't hindered much these past few minutes.

On the other hand, Shisui felt as though he'd been rejected — by a five-year-old, no less — from a love confession.

 

**Author's Note:**

> a/n:  
> This is just an FYI and I'll try to make it short:  
> \- This is a mild reverse harem, but eventual pairing is decided.  
> \- OC has gold eyes and ombre red hair, because fuck it, and because all the characters that have crazy eyes and hair are OP according to anime law.  
> \- Although the OC have read and watched manga and anime in her previous life, either Naruto manga/anime never existed in her world, or she just hadn't started the series so she doesn't know who the fuck anyone is in this world.  
> \- I have no beta for this fic and I'm the type to write, edit, publish, read, edit again, publish again, etc... So if you see a mistake, please notify me!  
> \- I love reading long ass comments!!! Besides the entertainment of writing these fics, reviews are also inspirations for me to continue writing!


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